Rabbits envy me...

Oh... green smoothies. Day 1, easy. Honestly, the smoothies really don't taste bad at all. The greens I have used thus far - spinach and kale - have such mild flavors that you don't even taste them. It is a bit scary for me to think how long I am going to be on these things at this volume.


Day 2... Easy? Not so much. Visions of cheeseburgers dancing in my head. (Curse you, cheeseburger!) I have never coveted a grilled cheese as much as the one I fed my girls tonight! I am hoping this gets a bit easier as time goes on... I've already lost 2.5 pounds since, well, yesterday. I must have eaten the equivalent of two heads of lettuce today. Oh, I can have salads, too. And avocado, my saving grace. The thing I look forward the most to? Chewing. I am most certainly getting my greens! :)

I just need to stay positive. You don't realize how much emotion is wrapped into food until you have to consciously avoid so much of what your diet has been. There is no such thing as just grabbing a sandwich - or a bag of anything, for that matter. I realized today in looking at the days ahead that I am not going to be able to eat hardly any of the typical Thanksgiving food this year, because my body just can't handle it at this point. It really makes me question why I eat what I eat. I realize that the food I "romanticize" is just plain bad for me. Do you ever hear someone say, "oh, the lettuce is soooooo good at the Cheesecake Factory!" I don't think so... I've rewarded myself, my husband, my kids with unhealthy food. Am I creating unhealthy emotional ties to food in my children? I don't know what the answer is, quite honestly. I am coming to understand that I use food as a punishment as well... I guess these are just things I ponder about.

I don't really feel any different yet, but I don't expect to. It's way too early. I am really anxious to get the results from my blood tests. There is just something about having real test results in writing, isn't there? I NEED the results to tell me not to eat dairy or wheat. I need something concrete, because I don't think I have enough willpower on my own for the long haul. The cravings are nuts!

When my doctor reviewed my case and history, he was very optimistic, but told me the healing process could take up to a year. In a world that seems to just want to take a pill to "fix" it and go on, a year seems so long to me. Answers from all the doctors in the past have been to take a pill and go on. Where has it gotten me??? There has to be another way. For me, going about the healing process from a natural direction is a must. I have tried all the other options, except the last, drastic one - having a large portion of my colon surgically removed. That is just NOT an option at this point. There just has to be another way!

So, after literally years of research, I going to go the natural way. I just have to. If I truly believe that using food and lifestyle changes to heal disease actually works best, then I am going to have to live it out. It's a step of faith for me. I want to be a good example to my family and everyone around me, and I have to do this. What if someone I know could greatly benefit from my experience and find the healing that they need? You just can't put a price on that.

Smoothie, anyone?? :)